Dr. Helen dissing some poor girl who wants a man, not a boy and I got this to say:
Other than calling losers who don't want to bond 'douchebags', the lady who wrote the letter is spot on -- she wants a man for life, not a fuckbuddy for the summer. She is right to feel entitled to a soul mate who is an adult.
Yes, there are nasty (wo)men out there who use the broken laws to rip (wo)men and kids off, if they didn't have that option, these people would be evil in other ways. In general, people are not bad because they can get away with it, but they are bad because ...(drumroll) they are bad.
And if you choose such a bad person as your life partner because you cannot be bothered to look at them properly and get to know them, or because you're greedy and want looks and/or money and let your sexual organs override your brains, then by definition, bad things will happen to you -- as the saying goes: you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
Ideally we'd all like people to be able to have proper relationships that last a lifetime, and we all complain bitterly a lot because so many people no longer manage to behave themselves in a way that makes this possible. In fact, this lament is a central theme to this veritable blog...!
Wanting revenge on (wo)men in general and recommending that people start stealing decent folks life time as a revenge for what another (wo)man did to them is not a recipe for success.
Nor is paranoia -- life is tough, there are many people out there who thieve, and part of life is to be aware who you're spending your time with, be it spouses, friends or even colleagues. Choose wisely, don't be afraid to send someone on their way gently and kindly the moment you see structural problems in their personality -- learn to love yourself, then you can love others. Above all, don't take on basket cases, there is a reason why those people hate themselves like they do, and it's up to them to fix themselves, you cannot help such folk.
Dr. Helen, we already have enough soul-cripples of both genders and all sexual persuasions who cannot bond properly with others or behave decently, so why add to the general mayhem by telling people to not bother because everyone is going to rip them off anyway?
What we need is role models -- successfully bonded couples teaching others how to live life-long love -- our culture is totally devoid of good examples for people to copy, there is no social or online scene either that supports couples either.
Complaining is important because without being aware that something is broken, it cannot be fixed, but only solutions are doing the job in the end to solve the problems.